What We Do


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    Artwork and lyric booklet are included when you download the complete album.




Everyday songs about coping with everyday things.


released May 1, 2015

All tracks written, arranged and played by THE SPECTRAL PRiDE.
Recorded, mixed and mastered by The Knobster at The Bunker.
Produced by Mr Reindeer.
Artwork: Frank Blunt.

© & ℗ 2015 Bollockbrain Productions; released here under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-commerical Share Alike licence.

A Genuine Bollockbrain Product.





A recording venture launched in the spring of 2004 to enable four friends to meet and indulge in a common favourite pastime: the laying down of sounds while making one another laugh.

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Track Name: Peep-Oh!
Another day, another round of Don't knows
Lines are grey, but that's the way the wind blows

Dark delusions soak up all the sunshine
Bad vibrations twist and turn the skyline

Waking up is waking down
No smiley face to wipe away the frown
Taste of tension in the air
Shadows boxing everywhere

Taken in is taking out
Boots and pizza thrown about
Shuddering hunched up with the bends
Talking to imaginary friends: Peep-oh!

Deep distortions spiral on a downturn
Calamine lotion soothes the scrapes and sunburn

Waking up is waking down
No laughing gas to wipe away the frown
Taste of almonds in the air
Flies and roaches everywhere

Taking in is taken out
Swabs and plasters cast about
Writhing hunched up with the bends
Talking to imaginary friends:
Wrong side of the bed

Track Name: Mr Chameleon
The razor glides: Do you feel fine?
The one with the dimpled chin, the smooth behind

What shall I be today?
A flowerpot made of clay
Holding a moment as it flies
Finding a steady gaze

This is the way the rose unfolds
Shower-gel burbling down a hole
This is the way the bigman hides
Hoping the warmth inside glows on

The wardrobe creaks: Are you in there?
The one with the sharpest crease, clean underwear

Who shall I be today?
That man dressed all in grey
Taking each moment as it comes
Holding a steady gaze

This is they way the world goes round
Anonymous on the underground
This is the way the hitman hides
Hoping the spark inside shines on

The front door shuts: Are we all here?
The ones with the tightest butts on this frontier

How shall I be today?
Nearby but far away
Squeezing the moment till it cracks
Keeping that steady gaze

This is the way the mind endures
A pinch of salt and generic cures
This is the way the madman hides
Hoping the fire inside burns on

Burn on!
Track Name: Gullible's Travels
Rush hours turn the knuckles white
Fists so tight they're gelignite
Slowcoaches in every lane
Ankles aching with the strain
Sick to death of frozen deals
Can't describe the way you feel
Rant and bitch, scratch that itch
Slap the steering wheel

Dazed with drink, kitchen sink
Every plate is broken
Pussyfoot, keep it shut
Tons of shit unspoken
Spick-and-span, non-stick pan
Fingers all sleepwalking
Chug-a-lug, yank the plug
Scratch that itch again

Parking is an endless race
Someone always in your space
Early birds in every nest
Leaves you feeling so depressed
Sick to death of yellow lines
Knackered meters, instant fines
Gripe and bitch, scratch that itch
Have a proper whine

Togs all in, rinse and spin
Watch the world go round and
Bleary-eyed, tumble-dried
Feel the heat inside and
Lift the load, ironing-board
Let the steam push through and
Fold the skirt, hang that shirt
Scratch that itch once more

Going up is coming down
Flattest crowd in all the town
Faceless farts on every floor
Hit the button, close the door
Sick to death of splitting hairs
Half-baked bollocks, manic glares
Moan and bitch, scratch that itch
Next time take the stairs

Do some good, scrape a spud
Soon the lids are rattling
Piles of greens, butterbeans
Yorkshire pud and crackling
Nice and hot, hits the spot
Happy as a dumpling
Cut the crap, lift that pap
Scratch that itch away
Track Name: Rough Close
A day like all the rest is O so humdrum
It nails your monkey-boots and weighs half a ton
The mugs around you all look glummer than glum
So keep your dander down and bugger the fun

Away - away away O!
Grumbly chunterers are so morose
Library books and weirdos
Down in the dumps on Rough Close

The charm of ignorance is O so intense
Arses and elbows look the same to bedpans
The concrete's greener on this side of the fence
So stop your bickering and crack a few cans

Away - away away O!
Ramp up the volume without remorse
Silly hats and dayglo
It's partytime on Rough Close

The taste of aniseed is O so silky
The yell of anarchy is such a delight
Tom Cobley slaps you like an icecold squeegee
So raise your poison now: let's brighten the night

Away - away away O!
A glass of water is way off course
Chocolate cake and Pernod
Everyone's whacked on Rough Close
Track Name: Agent Fifi
Self is the man when dealing with social types
Who gives a monkey's what anybody thinks?
Stay on the lookout when circumstances are ripe
You'll be surprised what sneaks through between drinks

Fifi say: Bad boy, you're such a sad boy
Can't see the heartache you leave in your wake
Instead of slighting, reckless backbiting
Why don't you stop, keep your trap shut? That's all it takes

You've heard it once, you'll probably hear it twice
Nothing unusual in everyday crack
Slip of the tongue's a slide into paradise
You'll be surprised what glides on through the flak

Fifi say: Bad girl, not such a glad girl
Can't see the damage you do with your rage
Instead of rantings and green-eyed tantrums
Why don't you stop, pick up your things and act your age?

Ear to the ground when part of the audience
Nothing too silent, nothing too loud
They say that numbers give people confidence
You'll be surprised what comes out in a crowd

Fifi say: Bad town, you're such a mad town
Nothing but nutters wherever you go
Instead of caring, they're all rampaging
Ripping up borders and breaking windows

There goes a closeshave inside a shockwave
Next comes the toxic grim cabaret
Soon there'll be beatings, annihilations
Everyone stop! Agent Fifi is on her way
Track Name: Wrecking Ball
Sometimes the night won't lift itself out of the grave
It stays as flat as an old worn-out tape
All sparkle gone, doused with aftershave
A plastic bag ripped right out of shape

So where's the one who promises the moon tonight
The very one who'll open up the sky?
So where's the one who has enjoyment in his sights
The only one who'll leave you glassy-eyed?

Now and again the unexpected mooches in
Holding a case of rapture in his hands
Darkness dissolves - moonshine the medicine
Stirring up smiles, the flame inside expands

Here comes the one who can lift the baboon off your back
The very one who can make the reindeer laugh
Here comes the one who can turn the tightest muscle slack
The only one who can fake the polygraph

King of the swing
Big ting-a-ling
No daydreaming
He's so inspiring

Well, now the walls are swaying in a stream of bliss
The bricks all loose, bouncing with the heat
Who gives a damn? Tied up with happiness
A conga-line weaving down the street

Yes, he's the one who puts the grin back on your face
The very one who wipes away despair
Yes, he's the one who widdles in the fireplace
The only one who's tumbling down the stairs

King of the swing
Big ting-a-ling
No daydreaming
So inspiring
Track Name: Red Tape
Leaner times are laid out on the way ahead
One more notch should tighten up the belt
Starchy bread, hold back on the nutty spread
Rod of iron to give the heels a jolt

There are ways to get around the barriers
Credit card will loosen up the flow
Lovely home with redesigned interiors
Rumpus room all wireless tech decor

With the gloves off, nothing so fine
Stuff that stops you drifting backwards
Tied with red tape, life's a straight line
Leaves you feeling: Rolling backwards

Day by day, you put a little bit away
Honeypot to make a dream come true
Holiday sprawled out in Montego Bay
Rum and coke washed down with Special Brew

Counting fingers in the big trough
Things won't add up, no more rewards
Strapped with red tape, life's a write-off
Leaves you feeling: Sliding downwards

Saturday night: usual show, right off your face
Lottery to make your hopes survive
One by one, the numbers will fall into place
So much joy, it's great to be alive

Come the morning, nothing so grand
Eyes wide open, face to floorboards
Bound with red tape, life's a dead-end
Leaves you feeling: No more onwards

Cards all torn up by the big drop
Things stay broken, elbows threadbare
Wrapped in red tape, life's a full-stop
Leaves you feeling: Going nowhere
Track Name: Rule of Thumb
What a life: in motion but not moving
Need to liven up those feet of clay
Touch and go with systems all responding
Tablet helps to keep the blues away

Good connections generate potential
A brandnew love is just a swipe away
Hopeful faces, details confidential
Loneliness dissolves as digits play

Rule of thumb: the cage is empty, all the mates have gone
Keeping mum: no-one listening, why are you rabbiting on?
Hold your tongue: well, jibjab jibberjabber jibjab jibberjabber jibjab

Before the dawn, the chorus is alive-O
Twittering twats with next to nowt to say
Following one another through the typos
Making a hash of rumours through the day

Rule of thumb: the tree is empty, all the birds have gone
Keeping mum: no-one listening, why are you warbling on?
Hold your tongue: well, jibjab jibberjabber jibjab jibberjabber jibjab

A room so smart, it reads every intention
Blowing your nose before you start to cough
Now and again it needs do much attention
The smartest thing to do is turn it off

Rule of thumb: the screens are empty, all the lights have gone
Keeping mum: no-one listening, why are you babbling on
Hold your tongue: well, jibjab jibberjabber jibjab jibberjabber jibjab

Rule of thumb: the room is empty, all the kit has gone
Keeping mum: no-one listening, why are you going on
Up your bum: well, jibjab jibberjabber jibjab jibberjabber jibjab

Track Name: Sod's Law
Another day, another chance to thrive
Maybe today the better times arrive
Yes, on this day we'll hit the road and drive
You can't predict the way things go
So take the day and see how things turn out

There'll be mistakes and that's no pack of lies
Without mistakes the world holds no surprise
Just one mistake can make emotions rise
You can't resist the ebb and flow
So make mistakes and see how things turn out

Unforeseen can bring you down
Nightmare in a dressing-gown
Load of crap right out the blue
Might just be the death of you

Sometimes rattled, sometimes calm
Sometimes bowling underarm
Tangents are the trend, me friend
Off at angles without end

Angry louts from outerspace
Waving rayguns in your face
Tricks you see when off your tree
Tweedledum and Tweedledee

U-turn round every bend
A U-bend in every turn
Cookie-crumbling stuff, old son
What's the problem? Bring it on

So take a chance, you never know how long
Without a chance, the stuff that counts won't come
Take just one chance and pray the wheels stay on
You can’t predict the way things go
So why resist the ebb and flow?
Just take a chance, it might not end tits-up